Awakening

This past week, I had lab work done in preparation for my annual physical. I have a Vitamin D deficiency. And I am not surprised. I work in a classroom with no windows to the outside. I often either arrive at work before dawn or leave work after dusk. So I do feel as if I could be evolving into a mole person. I do have glasses now, but that was my astigmatism that went undetected until last year. Yes, I got my first pair of glasses at the age of 43. Back to the whole Vitamin D thing. I can't just fault my job for my deficiency. I rarely venture outside in the Florida sun that so many seasonal visitors envy as they dream of the playground that Connie Francis sang about and now News of the Weird regularly features. Don't look at me; I am a winter person. I would much rather bundle up on a cold day than feel like the sun is going to incinerate me within seconds of stepping into my hot car on the doggiest day of August. I am going to take supplements (gummies are cool) while I wait to see my doctor next week. If this Vitamin D deficiency is real, it does explain a lot. The symptoms listed online match what I have been going through as of late, but could not quite put a finger on. Well, neither did my doctors. So, there's that. I am focused on solutions, so forward...

Domingo

This is another step in my working on journaling as a verb. I finally added the word 'journaling' to my computer's dictionary because I still could not believe that a piece of modern technology from this decade would not comprehend the use of the word as a verb. Journaling [now I just added the upper-case word to the dictionary] has been a 'thing' for a while, right? The real substance is how we continue to journal even when it lacks the buzz of the moment? This is where I used to do my journaling when it seemed that everyone was starting a blog about themselves or something likely obtuse. It made sense because social media could only take so many paragraphs of rants and/or raves before the unfriends and unfollows come raining down like dollar bills in the champagne room (no touching!). It is a quiet Sunday morning after what appeared like a bad Mad Max in the parking lot of my local grocery store. I went on a seemingly banal trip to pick up provisions for the week when going through the parking lot motions shifted into experiencing the worst Florida drivers known to man, or woman - or anyone because we have all done seen it all if we survived our mean streets. Don't get me started on bicyclist and pedestrian safety. I know that bicycling is good for my health, but so is not being hit by a car because the driver was trying to balance her social life with her ability to go places without harming someone else. I do not feel like discussing politics right now, so I ramble briefly about minute things. That is one drawback to living alone. I do not have conversations during the day. I have mental monologues that feel like conversations - except I have a captive but consistently friendly audience. Even when I encourage myself to think from the perspective of someone else, it feels like I am projecting more than actually speculating about what they would think. Writing, however, is my favorite form of expression because I can speak freely without being cut off or interrupted. I can put down my thoughts and serve them as briefly or as lengthily as I wish. One pet peeve of mine is when someone asks me to 'keep it brief' before I am about to speak. Do I look like I am a long-winded person? I can keep it much briefer than most because I can feel the audience and I can read the room. I know that the best advice in Hollywood is to leave them asking for more. If I want to go into depth, I can write an email, memo, or letter. But I digress again. It's Sunday morning and I am practicing the craft of writing. I majored in journalism and graduated with a degree in communications. I realize that there is a lot more that I can do with regard to how I communicate. I hope that this blog is my way of taking my writing to the next level. But, first, I have a backlog of books that I have acquired but have not yet read because of being in what felt like an endless funk that lasted for years. I lost that focus and motivation. I do, however, want to bring that back now. I know that being a better writer involves being a better reader. Have a great week! I hope that you enjoyed reading this blog.

Radio Free Spirit - Young Folks

Here is an upbeat song. This has been my wake up song as of late. I hope it brings you joy, too

A Day in the Life

I woke up before my alarm clock did this morning. It felt great. In recent years, I was not getting up at 5:15AM to conquer the day. It was more like trying to will myself out of bed and the only way to rouse myself was to frantically extrapolate how many minutes I could hunker down under my covers and then how many essential tasks could I sacrifice before I had to leave for work. There were mornings where I would bargain with myself over whether I could either lay about for an additional 10 minutes or whether I would actually shave. Oh, my. I knew that there was a limited window of opportunity to get to work without arriving late and looking like a total louse to my morning program students. I report to work daily at 7AM to work with students who need assistance in the morning and then I supervise morning recreation in the gymnasium at 8AM until we begin to transition to the regular school day. I promptly escort the students to their 'holding areas' until the first class of the day begins. Today, I helped my students prepare for a quiz that they have tomorrow on the responsibilities and obligations of citizens. We use our student laptop computers to access online study resources with Quia, Quizlet, and iCivics.org. With the first two, I am able to create online study tools such as flashcards, vocabulary games, and interactive activities that are based on the standards that we need to know to pass the Florida Civics End of Course (EOC) exam. This is where the fun began. I had two classes with at least 28 students each. I had only 25 laptops. In a sweet show of late-stage capitalism, I solicited offers from students to allow another student to use their assigned laptop computer if they happened to have a smart phone. Yes, I am having to ask students to use their own personal devices to compensate for the lack of overall support from the State of Florida to fund the very mandated standards-based education with formative and formative assessments that all must be produced on the backs of the school districts. But, I digress. The morning goes a bit sideways when I had to deal with a discipline issue during the first class period of the day. I handled it with a lot more patience and forbearance than I possessed when I was a rookie teacher. This is why I believe that we should bring back some form of teacher tenure to our public school teachers. I made my share of mistakes when I was younger, but I learned from those mistakes. I doubt that my anxiety would ever allow me to work at the mercy of an annual contract for life. Academic freedom and due process are central to our ability to best serve our students and protect our constitutional rights. I am especially grateful to the American Federation of Teachers' AFT PD program. I worked as a facilitator for a course called "Foundations of Effective Teaching." I felt like a new teacher all over again because I connected with educators from around the country (including a delegation of our fellow Americans in Guam) and the energy inspired me to take a fresh look at my work as an educator. I also believe that the retirement of our longtime principal of 12 years spurred me to engage in deep introspection. And this was even deeper than my normal introspection. I tend to become my own echo chamber of either self-aggrandizement or self-demonizing. But back to my day. I had to admit that I was already worn out from being up with the farm report but my spirit was fortified by my bag lunch (A group of students from Guam gave me and my co-facilitator nice lunch boxes and other groovy tchotchkes) of a sandwich, chips, apple sauce, and lime flavored seltzer water. Returning to class from lunch was no picnic as I had to put the kibosh on restroom foolishness and shenanigans. I am fortunate that I created something new for my classes that also kept me from burning out early in the year. I created student committees on which student volunteer to serve. I have students who help clean up the classroom, take care of our laptop computer cart, mediate disputes between peers, tutor classmates, and monitor supplies. If I have students who want to pass out papers or sharpen pencils, why not let them harness their seemingly unlimited preteen energy into community service? The delegation of duties and tasks does not come naturally to me. I have serious trust issues. I have been let down too many times in the past. So, I figured that I would save myself the trouble and just do stuff myself. I just don't like the feeling that I have when someone else drops the ball or when someone flakes on me. I feel like I should have 'sucker' stamped on my forehead. And, I am not the micromanaging type because I would rather...do it myself...than have to ride someone and spoon feed them. But my student volunteers, right? They kept things flowing smoothly to the time when my planning period began. We normally use this time to grade papers, make phone calls to the parents of disruptive students, go to the restroom (our restroom breaks are very limited as we supervise children all day) or respond to emails (another task that we are afforded little time to address during instructional time). Well, today was normally our department meeting aka Professional Learning Community (PLC) meeting that was actually preempted by my work as the chairman of my school's Teacher of the Year selection committee. We observed teachers, two of my colleagues in action, and we came to a decision. This was actually the denouement of a saga that began last Friday when I sent a quick message to the folks that run the county teacher of the year award to ask when we were going to get the Teacher of the Year information. I was told that an oversight led to us not getting the material regarding 'T.O.Y.' ('Teacher of the Year') but they would send me the stuff and the deadline for making our pick was August 30. We had less than a week to get our stuff together. I rallied the troops as our longtime committee chair and put together a timeline for getting it done ASAP. Well, I did ask for and was granted an extension (I figured that it's better to have the extension and not need it than the other way around!) I also like to underpromise and overdeliver. So, after scrambling like a mad man since last Friday, we made the deadline WITHOUT an extension! I had one more class to teach and then I went outside to handle car pick up duty. For the first nine weeks of the school year, I am responsible for marshaling the parents who drive to the school to collect their precious cargo. This damned Florida heat has me sweating like a whore in church (Thank you, President Johnson for your colorful language!) but I did my job in a sport coat at that! I tend to wear shirt and tie out of habit and because I have been doing that since my substitute teaching days. The jacket is optional - depending on my mood and the weather. As soon as my duty time ended, I met up with my local union staff consultant and we arrive in my classroom five minutes before our school's union meeting begins. Thankfully, she brought snacks as I forgot to pick up the promised 'light refreshments' and she was totally clutch! She briefed us on union matters and contract issues. I think I may have recruited a new member (My fingers are crossed!) I took notes during the meeting and shared a copy with her to take back to her office. Am I done yet? Nope! I report to my after school program where I work with students on their homework and give them access to student technology (laptop computers) for those who cannot access the internet for 'blended learning' at home. Blended learning is the new buzz phrase that kind of reinforces the digital divide. I stayed on to work on my after school program binder where I keep my after school work and documentation. When I got back home, it was time to eat. I saw that my mother dropped off laundry that she picked up earlier this week and washed for me. I thanked her and then left a happy birthday voice mail message for my aunt up north. Hello, GrubHub! I had Chinese.

Midweek reflections

It's the middle of the week and I need to get into the habit of journaling, so please forgive me if I write like I am going off on an epic stream of consciousness. I want so much to share here what I would not say out in the open. This is because I feel confident in writing my feelings down because I know that I have an audience. It's just too awkward to share my thoughts out loud because the feedback is immediate and I tend to be protective of my thoughts and feelings. It's an energy thing, I guess. That, and I function better in more intimate settings. One-on-one conversation is easier for me because we can focus on each other in our communication. If it is three or more people in a conversation, I feel like I am jockeying for position just to be heard. Today, I had good news that I was chosen the "Champion of the Month" at my school. I am proud to say that my school earned an "A" grade from our state's Department of Education. The sad thing is, although my school has busted a hump trying to earn the grade that we have now, our state government continues to stack the deck against schools such as mine. But, I digress. I dislike complaining and my aunt advised me to be upset or angry for a few minutes and then let it go. She called it "Two tears in the bucket - and f--k it!" There is a reason why I click so well with my aunt in Detroit - she understands me! That is the greatest gift that someone can give another person - understanding. Tomorrow is my aunt's birthday. Correction: tomorrow is my Auntie's birthday. There is a difference between Aunt and Auntie! Look it up. I am guessing that my newly found desire to return to my blog is a sign of brighter days ahead. I noticed that I have been finally clearing away the debris and detritus of my life that I accumulated over the days since approximately 2017. I believe that I was in a depression over a confluence of crappy events in my life that threatened to overshadow my joy for good. I put on a happy face in the real world because that was my obligation. At home, however, I let things pile up. I let myself get sloppy. I had no self-awareness about myself because I live alone and entertain at home only once in a blue moon. Long story short, I let myself go. Thankfully, this past summer woke me up to my own mental health. That, and my new awareness of emotional availability. A former colleague introduced me to that concept. The truth is setting me free as I begin to make sense of where I am and who I am today.

In the affirmative

Today's post is called in the affirmative. I volunteered with my Sunday school program today and we talked about the power of affirmative prayer in our lives. I was inspired by the spirit and the creativity of a group of young Truth students who spoke from their hearts about what they wish to see manifest through their co-creatorship with their Creator. I wanted to take a moment to comment on this because I never cease to be inspired by the wisdom that belies each new generation in the Unity movement. I am grateful to be a witness to this energy that I know will transform our world. This past year has had its challenges as I fought with being hospitalized for the flu and going through the usual political stuff with Tallahassee. I also saw great wonder in my travels and learned the necessity of self-care. This came from my taking an active role in affirming great things but also putting feet on my prayers and affirmations. I spoke of being a reformed supplicant who evolved into a partner with our Creator in co-creating through affirmation of our Truth. We then played a fun bingo game in which we created affirmations for the people and things in our lives. This is my journal entry for today. Peace be with you.

Hello, Stranger

It is good to be back. I took for granted that I could use social media as my megaphone as well as my lazy man's excuse for blogging but there are times when I cannot express my feelings in a tweet. And there are other times when I feel that my Facebook followers don't always want to read the equivalent of 'War and Peace' when I post. So, here I am. But how did I get back here after such a long hiatus? Well, I was inspired by a retiring Unity minister named Rev. Greg Barrette. I first crossed paths with him when I was a delegate at the International Youth of Unity conference at Unity Village, Missouri. He was a young seminary student who spoke to us in chapel services about the world's major religions and how they are interconnected like the spokes of a giant wheel. The closer we are to the hub, he said, is the closer we are to our true nature as one spirit. The further out toward the rim of the wheel, he said, we are driven by the interpretation that men and women place on the so-called fundamentals of what they believe to be worth killing and dying over. But I digress, I saw a recent post of Rev. Barrette's about the importance of keeping a journal. I was inspired but still found myself struggling to find the time to sit down and write an entry. Today is the day that I begin keeping a journal again. I hope that this entry in my blog is the beginning of something beautiful going forward. And I hope that I have provided you with some light in your life as well. I am not ashamed to accept love offerings from people. If you wish to support my blog and my life's work as an educator and potential minister, please feel free to cash app me at $johnmeeks1974 or send a PayPal donation to johnmeeks@bellsouth.net. Money talks and it would be an awesome incentive for me to keep speaking my Truth for you and our world. Namaste.